Behind the Curtain

by Gretchen's Wheel

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released May 13, 2016

Tracks 1-7 and 9 written by Lindsay Murray © and ℗ 2016

Track 8 written by Sloan (Chris Murphy, Jay Ferguson, Patrick Pentland, Andrew Scott)

Produced by Lindsay Murray

Tracks 1, 2, 5, 6, 7, and 9
I sang and played guitars and keyboard/synth at The Unstrung Harp in Westmoreland, TN. Phil Ajjarapu played bass at The Swear Jar in Portland, OR. Ira Elliot played drums at Tom Beaujour’s studio, Nuthouse Recording, in Hoboken, NJ. Tom also mixed these.

Tracks 3 and 4
I sang and played guitars as well as some mellotron on track 3. Phil played bass on both tracks and steel guitar on track 3. Donny Brown played drums on both tracks as well as percussion, more mellotron and synth, and sang some backing vocals on track 3 at Hess Street Studios in Lansing, MI. Andy Reed played synth on track 4 and mixed both of these at his studio, Reed Recording Company, in Bay City, MI.

Track 8
I sang and played guitars. Phil played bass. Jack Thomas played drums at Mike Farona’s studio, Middle C Music, in Nashville, TN. Mike also mixed this one.

All tracks mastered by Andy Reed

Album artwork: Lindsay Murray


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Gretchen's Wheel Nashville, Tennessee

Gretchen’s Wheel is the solo project of Nashville-based singer/songwriter/musician Lindsay Murray.

Moth to Lamplight: A Tribute to Nada Surf was released March 22, 2019 on Futureman Records.

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Track Name: Invisible Thief

An invisible thief stole my identity
All the things that used to define me
Years of possibility consumed in a moment of rest
They say there’s no cure but you can take another test

I only stopped to catch my breath
But a lifetime faded in the mist
I only buried my head in the sand
Cause it was too heavy to lift

The sabotage was coming from inside
Wreaking havoc that couldn’t be denied
A perfect disguise, a slow and silent progression
A lazy march in no particular direction

A little folding of the hands
A little canceling of plans
A little lowering the mast
A little getting old too fast
Track Name: Younger Every Year

All the time I’m gaining reasons
To turn away from days and seasons
The view outside’s desaturated
And what’s to see

Are there any more traditions
I can purge and lessen tension
Decorations, affectations
Are not for me

I’m gonna lie in wait
While the sun sets at 4 and there’s frost every morning
Want to leave the state
Find a warm place away from obligations and
Forget the date
In a world that’s getting younger every year

Cinnamon scenes flicker in dreams
Were they really all that they seem
Memories are weights on my chest
And I can’t breathe

I’ll never recreate the tableau
Can’t take the emptiness that it shows
And now I can feel giving up
Coming on again
Track Name: The Good Things

Misdirected then overcorrected
Your folly is ever before you
Numbers in red always filling your head
Dusty boxes that will never be opened

To hold on to the good things
In your mind
You could count them one by one
Make a list of all the times
You were glad you weren’t done
You were not done

Not sustainable, not even attainable
Shouting til you lose your voice
Letting go, looks like you’re missing the show
A slow blink and a shrug of your shoulders
Track Name: Live Through You

Ought to leave the house just to prove that I still can
In the interest of self-preservation
Ought to try to find the way to clear my mind
Of all these mismanaged expectations

For now I’m doing nothing
Because there’s nothing I can do
Maybe I’d rather live through you

My half-empty nature will ruin every memory
If I keep going the way that I go
I’ll forget about all of the better days
If I keep doubting the things that I know

For now I’m doing nothing
Because there’s nothing I can do
Maybe I’d rather live through you

There’s no reason to think, no reason to think
Next time I’m on the brink, there’s no reason, no reason
Track Name: Birds of a Feather

The day we knew would come
Is at the door
The promise is too hard to resist
So you won’t anymore

You’ll follow that siren song
Into the dark
Here’s hoping the mistakes you’ll make
Won’t leave a mark

Birds of a feather
You’d rather live in a lie
Birds of a feather
Of course you want to fly

Your innocence has run its course
Doesn’t fit anymore
When you pack for your long journey
You may leave it in a drawer

The little girl who never recovered
From a real nightmare
Is going to run to the ocean to find
No answers there
Track Name: This Petrified Heart

Did it weather endless ages
Or a single catastrophe
Is it evidence of a cataclysm
Or many years lost at sea

Did it fly too close to the sun
And in flames fall like a stone
Did it burn up from the inside out
From unbearable dreams alone

Buried in ruins, they could find it one day
Cause it didn’t obey the law of decay
This petrified heart

It’s been lying dormant all its life
In fact, it never lived
The condition’s mint, well-preserved
So much left to give

Confounding all the instruments
Readings are off the scale
Tests are inconclusive
The methods have all failed

If there’s something engraved, it can’t be distinguished
Cause the passage of time has finally extinguished
This petrified heart
Track Name: Vapors

I’ll turn it over and over in my mind
To keep it occupied
Feel the shape and file down the corners
Until it fits inside

Like a memory
Like it really happened to me
Like I understand
And know the way to hold it in my hand
To hold it in my hand

I don’t deal in dreams, I shuffle papers
Living through a screen
So the world is both bigger and smaller
And it goes further than it seemed

Is it vanity
To want reality
Want to understand
And know the way to hold it in my hand
To hold it in my hand

I’m reminded of it every day
Time and chance have had their way
They’ve had their way

I can’t hold it in my hand
Track Name: Behind the Curtain

Just one day I ventured into confidence
Stood on the edge of relevance
I had so many lucky breaks
But they didn’t outweigh the mistakes

I dream what my eyes will never see
Seems like a good reason to stay asleep

Going back to the disease to find the cure
It’ll turn out better this time, I’m sure
Now that it’s all said and done
The parts were greater than the sum

I dream of things I’ll never be
Seems like a good reason to stay asleep

If anyone had told me not to look behind the curtain
I’m not sure I would have listened anyway
I had nothing to lose but my favorite illusion
And to find myself living a cliche

I dream of an endless melody
Seems like a good reason to stay asleep

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