Fragile State

by Gretchen's Wheel

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04:15
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03:54

credits

released January 14, 2015

Tracks 1-10 written by Lindsay Murray; track 11 written by Lindsay Murray and Ken Stringfellow (SOFT Rebellion Songs/BMI) © 2014

Lindsay Murray: lead and backing vocals, rhythm and lead guitar, keyboards, drum programming

Ken Stringfellow: backing vocals, rhythm and lead guitar, bass, keyboards, drum programming and percussion

Ira Elliot: drums and percussion on tracks 1, 3, 4, 6, 8, 10, 11

Produced by Ken Stringfellow

Recorded at Grand Street Recording, Brooklyn, NY by Ken Rich and assistant engineer Jake Lummus; Middle C Music, Nashville, TN by Ken Stringfellow; Lindsay’s house, Westmoreland, TN by Lindsay Murray

Additional recording and all mixing by Ken Stringfellow at Le Son du Blé, Paris, France

General assistance and hospitality provided by Mike Farona at Middle
C Music

Mastered by L. Nix Mastering at Ardent Studios in Memphis, TN

Wheel painting by Jennifer Doneske

Photography by MarkStultzPhoto

Design by Lindsay Murray

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about

Gretchen's Wheel Nashville, Tennessee

Gretchen’s Wheel is the solo project of Nashville-based singer, songwriter and musician Lindsay Murray. Inspired by 90's alternative rock and power pop, her music is lush, melodic and atmospheric pop/rock with compelling songwriting.

Sad Scientist, the third Gretchen's Wheel album, was released on March 17, 2017.
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Track Name: Second to Last
The numbers on the calendar don’t make any sense
Too much time under tension on this side of the fence
She’s been learning bitter lessons, trying to swallow the pill
Waiting for relief to come, but it never will

She was making plans that could never be and couldn’t take the truth
Should have known that love alone will never make the world move
She was reaching past the borders of a comfortable life
To something far beyond her that’s impossibly high, so high

Don’t worry, it was only a dream
Some days her heart still thinks it’s seventeen
Don’t worry, it was just a dream
She’s waking up now to a whole new scene

Combat boots and flannel shirts, "Sick of Myself"
Those years were bound to the sound and lost to anything else
But as a little fish adrift at sea in waters too deep
It was easy just to disappear, make acquaintance with grief

On fertile ground a seed was sown that blossomed so fast
Without a clue that all youth has just a second to last
So it faded from the pictures she had drawn in her mind
Revised all her intentions then left it behind
Track Name: Pretend
I’m holding my breath
I hope you can’t feel my heart pounding
I just want to stay forever like this
But this embrace will end
I am your friend

Playing pretend
I’d like to think you’re blind
Playing pretend
You love me in my mind

If I can hold back tears
Then I can make this last
Won’t have to explain
Cause you’ll never ask
Why am I, why am I, why am I here
I am your friend
Track Name: One More Mile
December’s icy rain is freezing on the road
Start the car in the dark
I just need to make it home
Keep it between the lines just for one more mile

But I am going the wrong way
Every night down this same street
To a place where I don’t belong
And no one waits for me

I know pride goes before a fall
I just watched a dream die
If it’s not too late to turn around
And if I can find the way, I might
If I can find the way, I might

Oh, I’m free as can be
Track Name: My Lullaby
From the window I see a city full of people
Midnight but the lights are shining on
The only sound I can hear is the traffic down below
Close the curtain, turn off the phone

I don’t want to fall apart
But the seams are straining anyway
If I could fall into a dreamless sleep
Morning might come eventually

I never thought that I would still be holding on
To plans that have no place in my world
Of a fairy tale swan who finally spreads its wings
But some of us will never be swans
Track Name: Masquerade Waltz
A trembling hand, a nervous glance
So indiscreet, though I try to be
How much do you know?
How much do you know?

I am the moth drawn to your flame
But how do I dare love you this way

The masquerade, it ends tonight
There’ll never be a perfect time
To let you know
I’m on the verge, on the verge of letting you know

That I am the moth drawn to your flame
I know I’ll be burned, but I’ll stay anyway
Track Name: The Fourth Wall
Average, adequate
Falling short of standards, nursing regrets
Time is running out but the player hasn’t started yet

Meddling then settling
For a role where you don’t owe anything
To anyone and no one will see you fall

Don’t break the fourth wall
Never drop the mask
Keep your eyes downcast
“Come on and judge me”
Know you can’t fight it
Might as well invite it

Waiting for a hopeful sign
Though it never will be enough
When the high has passed, the low’s gonna be so low

What does it matter - you’re an amateur actor
And all the seats are empty now
So if it makes you happy, anything’s allowed
Breathing the air, taking up space
Giving them the right to put you in your place
Track Name: Let Me Believe
Your eyes, infinite, deep and distant
Dark sea, filling my dreams on the shore

But I could drown, let me drown
I would drown forever in that sea

The night, within and without
In sky blue, reflected there

But I could fly, let me fly
I would fly forever in that sky

Just for tonight let me believe
Although it’s a lie I will believe
My hope will die unless I believe
Once in my life won’t you let me believe
You could be mine
Track Name: Why Try
Every time you were here
I found some way to be near
You did just enough to keep me
From giving up completely, now I fear

I’m chasing smoke, feeling no heat from the fire
You’re moving slow and fading fast
So why do I try

It’s a means to what end
Do you want more than a friend
When it comes to you, I don’t know
What else can I do, I guess I’ll go again

Built my castle in the air
Even let down my hair
How much longer can I wait for you there
Track Name: No Difference
These words were never said
but they played in my head
You don’t know me, but I’ve thought of hating you
I may regret I opened this door
but I can’t be silent anymore
No more

What I’ve heard for so long
is everything that’s wrong with your love,
whatever that means to you
You know I can’t understand why you never come around
I try to lift him up when you bring him down

There’s no need to lie
my misery I can’t deny
but everything I feel is growing dim
Though I came so near
you never had anything to fear
I made no difference to him

You don’t want my advice
but you need to open your eyes
and make the most of your precious time
I had a moment, then it was gone
Mine was make believe, yours is real and still alive
Track Name: Overcome
There is a strange and new sensation
Something stirring, making waves under my surface
I started dreaming in the day
When I wake up
What was old is new again
What was dead has been reborn
My elements are melting with a fervent heat
And I am overcome

Living for moments that rarely come
So when they do, I take a chance
Then as you leave, I watch you go
Without a word

I’m missing cues and losing sleep
Breaking rules and feeling weak
And I’m searching for the signal and the certainty
And I am overcome
Track Name: Total Loss
You say you’ve been in a fragile state of late
and sorry for making so many mistakes
You can’t see the ground distracted by your hope
Your eye on the sky through a telescope

All stars are surely dying
While time is flying
Some truth is terrifying
Your future’s fixed and past deciding

You don’t mind at all the work, the wait, the climb
It’s the falling down that hurts, never reaching the height
It’s not a total loss, you’re still alive
Crashed down to earth from blazing through the night

Just believe it’s a fleeting feeling
Tomorrow it will go away
Keep an analytical distance
for another day